I have so much guilt for an interaction that went sideways yesterday. My communication skills weren’t at their best and I ended up fucking myself out of something I had hoped for (although admittedly, I don’t think that specific thing was quite right for me… Really).
I feel shame and regret for how I reacted… And that I reacted at all. Communication and trigger mapping really are skills that need constant fine tuning and… Mindfulness. So much mindfulness.
These situations create doubt in my mind about whether working with human relationships is really what I’m capable of. Maybe I’ll fuck it up. Is this what I’m really meant to do? Why did I sabotage myself like that?
My haste sealed my fate for that avenue yesterday, but I guarantee I will handle future situations with at least a touch more grace.
Ah humans. I’m a human. I fucked up… And it’s ok. I’m human.