The main mantra of Lomi Lomi is “Ho’oponopono” which means “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”.
Last night, we were asked to give this a try and ask ourselves who do we need to forgive? To forgive someone else is to forgive ourselves. We are projecting judgement and seeing this human as less than perfect, when there is no forgiveness.
So I asked myself, who do I need to forgive… One name came up immediately and I knew it was time to let it go. I don’t need to carry this anger with me, its cancerous and does me no good.
Later that night as I was laying awake in bed, I thought of my mom. I thought of the anger and resentment I held towards her while I was taking care of her while she was sick. I thought of how it all dissolved the moment she died, just… Gone. None of it mattered anymore, when she left, so did the hurt. However, I realized that there was still something left. Anger over her suffering, it was needless. The long, drawn out illness. The lead up to her death. It wasn’t beautiful or peaceful. It was awful and violent and very sad. And who do I forgive for this?! Who?? I laid there thinking about this without an answer.
The following morning, our class circled to have a check in and I brought this to our Kumu. He said simply “We forgive ourselves for seeing humans as less than perfect… Is suffering not human?”.
This offering is still being absorbed… I see truth in it. My mom was human and she suffered, as humans do. It’s awful and it’s perfectly human.
And I guess that’s what I need to forgive. Life is precious.