Many years ago I had a very vivid dream of this bright white barn owl, it had this glowing blue hue about it, mystical like. I was standing on the edge of a mountain and it was swooping at me, talons out. I was terrified but just stood there, waiting for it… And just as the moment of impact arrived, it entered me through my solar plexus. Talons first, its wings settled into my arms and its head settled into my head. It merged with me- It didn’t attack, it arrived. This dream always stuck with me. It was strong and memorable, symbolic. Eventually I got this owl tattooed on my arm as part of a dreamscape. It’s my spirit animal and I really wanted it close to me.
Many years later, I moved me and my daughters life back to small town BC to see my mom through a terminal illness. I had so many fears and apprehensions leading up to the move, even once I arrived I was still unsure if it was the right thing to do.
Earlier on, when I first arrived home, I was walking across a field, down to my studio thinking about all the doubts I had… Wondering if I was in the right place, did I make the right choice, can I do this… I glanced down and directly in my path of travel was a perfect barn owls feather. Totally flawless and the only one in the field. I had this overwhelming feeling of comfort and reassurance. I was exactly where I needed to be at this time.
My mom passed away in February of this year. I planned a memorial hike in June to celebrate her active nature. The forest was her sanctuary, it was the place she went to get grounded and feel most alive. A traditional service didn’t seem right for her, in fact she had requested there not be a service. Grieving people in black wasn’t her style at all. So I planned something that suited her spirit… Many friends showed up and we all hiked the trail to her bench by the river. I invited anyone who felt inclined to share some memories or words about her. As one of my moms friends was sharing some stories about her, I heard a bear moaning nearby… I wasn’t positive that’s what I’d heard, but then I heard it again… And one more time. It was definitely a bear and it had come to my moms memorial. It didn’t let itself be seen, but it made its presence known. I knew immediately that it was my moms spirit showing up.
A week later, today, Fathers Day. The first time in 5 years I’ve celebrated with my dad, we were estranged for many years. It was a beautiful day, I spent the first part at the Farmers Market and the second part getting the house, dinner and dessert ready for my dad and my sweetie. Dinner was fantastic! I really enjoyed listening to my guy and my dad talk excitedly about house projects and music and motorcycles. At one point in my life, I thought I might be happy to one day find a man who wasn’t like my dad at all. Now I know I have found a man who is in fact like my dad, only in the positive, emotionally available kind of way. And geez, do I ever love this one. Anyways, just after my dad left, I was walking back into the house when I looked up and this great big barn owl swooped into a bushy tree branch. I stopped and we just stared at eachother. It swooped to a few different branches before I went inside… I’ve heard it whooing outside my studio in the late night and it swooped down as I was driving home in the middle of the night on this past Christmas day… At the same property.
It’s interesting to me, as I look back on where the Owl kept showing up. Almost as if it was leading me here, to this mans place. Letting me know this place is where I’m meant to be. And the bear, my mother… It’s magic really ♡